You know how at the beginning of some Television shows there is this great voice over by one of the characters from the show. It brings wisdom, insight, understanding and sometimes even foreshadowing for the upcoming show. Sometimes I wish real life were like that, that in my head I heard a voice that gave me insight, clarity and maybe just a little hope that somehow life will be ok. But life isn’t like that. We never know what will happen within the next few hours, much less tomorrow or a year for now. Our dreams can be obtained or shattered in an instant and we are left to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of our life, or what's left.


I looked up and was in a room. My three roommates and I were standing there looking at him. His girlfriend left the room but he remained standing there staring back at us, at me. I had no idea what had just happened. I had just come into the room. I couldn’t figure out the look in his eyes, it was almost a plea. I looked back at him hesitantly. What was he thinking? He walked over and hugged my roommates, it was a strange action because they hated him. Had he forgotten everything that had happened? They were standing a few feet in front of me as though they were shielding me from him. I loved them for that, they were so protective. Then an even stranger thing happened. They let him through them. He walked up to me. As he moved closer to me I backed away from him. “Matthew?” I questioned in a whisper. I was completely confused. Why wasn’t he going after Sarah? He didn’t say anything just kept moving towards me. I looked for answers in his eyes and what I found scared me. I hadn’t seen that look in his eyes in a long time. He hadn’t looked at me like that for so long I was surprised I recognized it. I looked quickly behind me expecting to see a wall but was surprised to see a sidewalk lined with trees. I looked back towards him. My roommates, the room, it was all gone. Everything had changed except him. I began to run from him. I couldn’t stand this not again. This time it would surely break me. I looked back and he was following close behind calling my name in a whisper. “Isabelle…” He breathed out, “Stop running Belle.” The sound of him saying my name sent chills though me. I tripped and fell somehow managing to fall on my back, leaves blowing up around me. He was down too. Before I could jump up he was leaning over me. He face bent over mine. “Belle, I know how you feel.” He whispered. I tried pushing him away. He didn’t budge. “Just one kiss, just one.” He breathed as he leaned closer trying to get me to break. My hand went up over my mouth. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until it was done, anything to keep him from breaking me again. I looked away turning my head, unable to focus on anything, unable to move. I still tried pushing him away with the hand that wasn’t guarding my mouth, my heart. He just leaned in closer. I could feel his breath against my jaw line and a tear threatened to fall. No! Don’t let him see how week you are, be strong. I thought fighting the tears away. He gently touched his lips to my jaw before pulling up. I turned back to him and slowly removed my hand just enough to force out a whisper. “I don’t want you. Please go away.” He just smiled and shook his head. He took my hand and pulled it away from my mouth. I couldn’t stop him, though I tried. His other hand held my other down as well. No matter how much I tried to stop it, no matter how much I tried to slow it, my heart pounded loudly in my chest. I made my eyes cold and hard, so he wouldn’t see the pain. He leaned down and smiled gently when I inhaled wishing he would stop with all my might. I couldn’t fall for him again. I couldn’t let him break my heart again. I had worked so hard to become complete again…would that all be for nothing? He continued leaning down and his lips brushed mine. “Please…” I whispered but he just pressed in.
My eyes jerked open and I sat up in my bed. I looked at the alarm clock. It was three o’clock in the morning. My heart was racing. It felt like the lock I had clamped on my heart so many months ago when he left had been opened. What was happening? I laid back down in my bed pulling the blankets up around my head. I closed my eyes tight and wished, against my better judgment, for the dream to come back. This would haunt me in the morning, still I wished to slip back into the impossible.

please keep on writing

It was a little over a year ago that I met him. I was out for a run in my Aunt and Uncle’s neighborhood. I went to see them at least once a month. It was a check-in if you will. I lived across town near campus while they lived in a beautiful, "runner friendly" neighborhood. It was nice to get away from the stress of school for a while. It had been a hard year. I felt so alone. Sure I had friends, my roommates, but they still didn’t seem to fill the loneliness that I felt. However on this beautiful fall day, with the trees changing all around me I didn’t feel quite as alone. My ipod blared in my ears and I was deeply lost in thought as I turned the corner and ran into him. I fell hard hitting my head on the concrete and blacking out. I woke up an hour later in my aunt and uncle’s living room. I could hear their voices and one I didn’t recognize. I sat up and looked around. My head pounded begging me to lay back down. I groaned quietly and closed my eyes again.
“Lay back down.” The voice I didn’t know urged me. I felt my aunt’s tiny hands pull me back.
“Sweetie, you hit your head pretty hard. Luckily Matthew was on his way over here.” She said in her soft voice. I groaned again now remembering I had run into someone, must have been him.
“Thanks.” I managed to say.
I heard him laugh, “Don’t mention it.” He said. They continued to talk about things I couldn’t make out. My uncle was a doctor and there was no doubt that I was fine, or he would have taken me to his office for x-rays…or maybe he had.
I slowly opened my eyes again, but didn’t sit up yet. “What happened?” I asked.
Again the one I didn’t know laughed, “You just about ran me over.” He said.
I sighed. “Sorry.” I muttered.
“It’s ok.” He said. He looked about my age. He had light brown hair and green eyes. He was tall, taller than me without a doubt. I could tell that even though he was sitting on the edge of the couch.
I slowly sat up. My uncle knelt down in front of me. “Let’s make sure you’re ok.” He said taking out one of those flashlight pens. He pointed into my eyes and told me to follow it with my eyes. After a few minutes he sat back.
“Everything looks fine.” He said satisfied. I leaned back into the couch and closed my eyes for a brief second.
“I should probably go.” I said opening my eyes again. “Thanks, um…Matthew?” I said.
Immediately my aunt chimed in. “Oh my, I’m sorry. Izzie this is Matthew. Matthew, our niece Izzie.”
“Nice to meet you.” I said politely. He said the same as he stood up. I slowly stood too and wavered a little, my body threatening to fall back to the couch. He grabbed my arm steadying me. I gave a small smile of gratitude hoping to hide how embarrassed I felt. He just smiled back.
“Matt is from Austin. His parents are good friends of ours.” My uncle said. I nodded and forced a smile, my head pounding. “We were actually inviting him over to meet you…so he would know someone here.” He said obviously pleased with how things worked out, pleased with him being my rescuer. I glanced at my aunt who was just shaking her head at him, however it was clear that she was pleased too. I would have sighed and rolled my eyes but I refrained, I didn’t want to seem rude.
“What a coincidence.” I said keeping my smile in place, but unable to stop sarcasm from seeping out. Then I surrendered to what I knew they wanted. “A few of us are going to be hanging out later tonight, you are welcome to come.” I suggested as we began to walk to the door. Tabitha and Sarah would get a kick out of this. They were coming to hang out at my apartment along with Michael, James and Stephen.
Matthew smiled again and nodded, “Ok, sounds good.” He said and started walking out to my car with me. I told him directions to my apartment and that everyone would be over around 7. He said he would be there before heading down the street.


I explained what had happened to my three roommates when I got home. They were wondering where I had been. They questioned me relentlessly. What did he look like, what was he wearing, what color eyes did he have. I laughed and answered them to the best of my ability. This went on as we cleaned the apartment and cooked for the night. Finally I sat down on the couch.
“You girls will just have to wait and meet him tonight.” I said. I hadnt told them yet that he was coming. All three girls squealed and this time I did roll my eyes. They were crazy about guys so this was expected.
“So what do you think about him?” Kathryne asked. She was the oldest of the four of us, just by a week. Our moms had been friends, and we all four happened to be born all within three weeks of each other. We had grown up together.
I shrugged. “I don’t even know him. I invited him as a favor to my aunt and uncle.” I admitted. I was usually the most level headed of the four of us when it came to guys. I was the youngest. Liza and Mia were in the middle, both born the same week.
Kathryne just rolled her eyes, “So you don’t mind if…”
“No, I don’t mind.” I said cutting her off. “Go for it.” I said. I had never dated. I never really saw the point in just dating around, eventually you just wind up getting hurt by some idiot guy who moved on to someone he liked better. They knew I felt this way and were relentless in trying to set me up with someone. It wasn't that I couldnt find someone on my own I assured them over and over. It's just that I have spent enough time on the couch with broken hearts because some guy was to foolish to see what he had. This always shut them up quick.
Just then we all heard someone knock on the door. I looked at the clock. It was 6:30. I raised an eyebrow and looked at the others. Sarah and Tabitha would be late because of work and the others were never early.
Kathryn smiled. “Well….” She said in a hushed voice. “Go on.”
I rolled my eyes but got up and went over to the door and opened it. “Hey Matthew.” I said pleasantly. He was holding tulips. He handed them to me. I was sure I looked surprised because he just laughed.
“It’s a ‘get well’ or ‘sorry for knocking you down’ gesture.” He explained.
“Oh, Thank you.” I said and smiled, “They’re actually my favorite.”
“Well, you have good taste then.” He joked.
I just stood there for a second surprised, but then stepped aside. “I’m sorry, come in.”
He came in and gave a nod to the three girls sitting in the room.
“This is Kathryne, Mia and Liza. And this is Matthew.” I said before going into the kitchen to find a vase.
“Nice to meet you.” I heard him say sounding totally relaxed. The girls chatted with him, questioning him about where he was from and the afternoon. I listened as I put the tulips in the vase and set them on the table and returning to the living room.
“The others will be here soon.” I said sitting.
The night lulled on. Everyone showed up. Everyone heard the embarrassing story of how Matthew and I met. As I predicted Sarah and Tabitha were the most amused. Sarah questioned him most of the night. About ten I slipped out onto the porch. The light outside our apartment had burnt out only a week after we moved in and we were on the back end, so it was dark around. The stars shone brightly. This was the reason we hadn’t replaced the light. We couldn’t see the stars as well. I sat in one of our chairs and wrapped a blanket around me. About ten minutes later the door opened. I turned to see who was interrupting my solitude. Matthew was standing there.
“Are you leaving?” I asked wondering.
He walked over and stood by one of the empty chairs. “Actually I was just wondering where you were.” He said frowning a little.
“Oh, it just gets a bit crazy in there sometimes. I like to get away.” I admitted.
He nodded and sat in the chair next to me. “Mind if I join?” He asked.
I just shrugged indifferently and looked back out at the sky.
“They’re beautiful hm?” he said. I wasn’t really sure if he was asking or informing.
I nodded. “They are.”
We sat in silence for a little while. I turned and looked at him. “You know they’ll be disappointed if I keep you out here the whole time.” I joked.
He just looked at me and smiled. “I’m willing to risk it.” He said before looking back up at the sky.

I stared at him for a minute, then shrugged it off and looked back out something inside me squirming.

Over the next few weeks I ran into Matthew more and more. We quickly learned we had more than just my aunt and uncle in common. I walked into the living room one morning still exhausted.
“It’s about time.” Kathryne said glancing at the clock. Kathryne had obviously been up for a while. She looked like she had just gotten back from one of her long bike rides.
“Whatever.” I mumbled still half asleep as I made myself some cereal and sat on the couch beside Mia. Mia looked at me and smiled.
“What?” I said a little grouchy still not completely awake. Mia was one of those people who rose with the sun, delighted to be awake. She was bouncy and cheery in the morning. Kathryne loved it because she kept her accountable every morning…got her up to go run or ride or something athletic. Liza and I on the other hand were the complete opposite. We liked our sleep.
Mia just shrugged innocently and then flashed a smile at Kathryne that didn’t escape my sleepy eyes. “So why were you up so late last night?” She asked as if she didn’t know. We shared a room.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said hoping she would leave it alone. She always blew things out of proportion.
But typical Mia just pressed further. “I think you do.” By this time Kathryne was thoroughly interested.
“What?!” She asked excitedly.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “We didn’t talk that long.” I said. That was a bit of a stretch. It had been hours.
“Didn’t talk that long?!” She responded shaking her head. “Try from about nine until after one in the morning!” Mia said grinning at Kathryne.
“Wait a minute.” Kathryne said holding up her hand. “You talked to whom for that long?”
Mia gave her a “who do you think” look before saying “Matthew.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What happened to he’s fair game?” She asked.
I was still too tired, and now annoyed to tell whether she was just teasing or not, either way it didn’t matter. I stood and walked to the door, deciding to eat on the porch in peace. I stopped before going outside. “He is fair game, as far as I am concerned.” I said clearly agitated, “We are just friends.” I added before opening the door and leaving them laughing behind me. I rolled my eyes and sat. They just didn’t understand. We were just friends. I was not interested in him in that way in the least. I could hear them chattering inside. I finished my cereal pretty quickly and took my bowl back inside as Liza came into the living room, having just woken up herself.
“What are you two giggling about?” She said sleepily. I rolled my eyes and decided to wash the bowl by hand instead of just putting it into the dish washer.
“Well…” began Kathryne in her gossip voice. “Apparently Izzie was up until the wee hours of the morning talking to….Matthew.” She said obviously excited to re-tell the story to someone.
I sighed and left the bowl in the sink and walked back into the living room. “You know Mia it isn’t like I kept you up.” She said. She had been doing something on the computer all night.
“I didn’t say you did.” She said.
I looked at Liza, “We’re just friends. Ask him out if you don’t believe me Kathryne.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Go for it. Need his number?” I said walking to my room. I shut the door behind me hearing the laughing through the wall. I shook my head and sat into a chair picking up my book. My phone vibrated. I grabbed it and opened it. “1 Text: Matthew.” I smiled and opened it.
“I hope I didn’t keep you up too late last night.”
I laughed. “No, no you didn’t, I would have been up anyways.” I sent him then opened my book. About a minute later it vibrated again. I opened it.
“Movie night tonight?”
“Sure, I’ll tell the others.” I sent back. We had started to watch a movie more than once a week, as school hadnt started back yet. Matthew and I would spend two days reading nonstop racing to see who would finish the book first and then we would all get together and watch the movie. Today we were both finishing The Princess Bride. Again my phone vibrated. I opened the text.
“Ok, can’t wait!” I read it and my smile grew.
“Me neither.” I sent back before burying myself in The Princess Bride

I L.O.V.E. THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!

that was really good

,.......................................More? please?